Posted on Thursday, April 02, 2009

Keep going - never give up

Erk, tercekik!


Proses buat PhD adalah pengalaman yg unik. Ia satu proses pembelajaran yg panjang, sunyi (sbb buat research sendiri, org lain tak faham) dan memenatkan fikiran dan tubuh badan. yg gemuk blh kurus dan kurus blh semakin kurus. tapi kalu kurus jadi gemuk or gemuk bertambah gemuk, itu pun mungkin reverse syndromes. akan ada satu tahap di mana kita mempersoalkan keupayaan sendiri, mampu ke? besarnya impian kita, tapi kdg2 ada bisikan dlm hati yg kata 'boleh ker'.

Pada awal perjalanan nak mencari hala tuju kajian, rasa lost. Dihadapan mata penuh dgn journal2 tapi somehow, you feel lost. Masa tu lah fikir, layak ke aku nie jadi student PhD? walau pun dah lepas defense proposal, msh ada yg confuse. Dan bila lepas tahap tu, ada lagi cabaran lain, nak buat data collection, data analisis dan writing thesis. byknya 'pagar' nak dilompat. masa berlalu cepat, tgk timeline mcm tak on track jer. aduh! kelepet gue..

time nielah bagi supervisor yg concern, dia akan bagi advise - take care of yourself, take a rest a bit. sy lah antara orgnyer yang menerima nasihat mcm nie. mesti my supervisor nampak aku nie kelam kelibut mcm nak mengejar bas yg terlepas. and itu blum lagi termasuk dugaan2 sampingan yg mempengaruhi perancangan kita. kdg2 plan dah cantik, tapi..Allah punya plan kita lupa. hmm..

tulah, 3 thn yg penuh upside down. kalu blh tamatkan perjalanan ini, memang kepuasan tak terhingga. the only way tuk overcome perasaan down bila buat PhD ialah menjadi realistik dlm perancangan. exactly mcm lagu nie kata - halangan yg baru dilangkaui itu bukan yg terakhir, akan ada lagi seterusnya dan seterusnya..dan kalu progres kita lari dari timeline yg ada, just try ur best anyway tuk siapkan. PhD bukan pertandingan saper cepat habis, tapi kesudahan yg memuaskan. tak guna terkejar2 kalu hasilnya tak memuaskan.

yearh, inilah cabaran yg ditempuh, inilah risiko yg diambil, apa jua cabaran - no i'm not breaking. lagu nie tepat menggambarkan..

The Climb by Miley Cyrus

I can almost see it
That dream I am dreaming
But there's a voice inside my head saying
"You'll never reach it"

Every step I'm taking
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking

But I gotta keep trying
Gotta keep my head held high

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down
But no, I'm not breaking

I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most, yeah
Just gotta keep going

And I, I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on

'Cause there's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Somebody's gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!

Keep on moving, keep climbing
Keep the faith, baby
It's all about, it's all about the climb
Keep the faith, keep your faith, whoa
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