Posted on Friday, February 08, 2013

Does a spouse slow you down?


PhD is a battle!
Dah 2-3 hari jugak tak berblogging...busy ngan keje/workshop/meeting/supervision bla-bla-bla..Ni tahun baru cina pun busy jugak coz 12 hb terlibat dengan program bersama remaja hamil. Belum difikirkan lagi modul nak buat. Seriously need to think about this starting tomorrow or tonite. Fortunately, workshop di maktab penjara has been postponed ke 19hb. Kalulah 13hb..kelepet jugak! Aderlah hikmahnya tuh. Bolehlah bernafas sedikit...fuh!

Buku "Wanita dan PhD" - is on d way, and we progressing very well so far. I hope this book will be succeed.  I hope my stories and other writers as well could inspire other women who want to pursue their PhD. No sweat no gain. Its a difficult journey but not impossible. With support, lots of doas, and motivation, one can do it towards the end. Quite interesting..i came across one article..title "Does a spouse slow you down?" 

Retrospective study on estimated 11,000 graduates students from various marital backgrounds. Finding menyatakan bahwa - lelaki yang bujang lebih cenderung tak menamatkan PhD dan lelaki berkahwin mempunyai peluang lebih tinggi untuk berjaya dalam pengajian PhD. And..wanita bujang or berkahwin, not so different. Meanwhile, single woman and married woman have equal opportunity to success in their PhD. Why??? 

My hypothesis - women dont have problem with multitasking jobs but men yes ;-)

Moral of the story -  bagi lelaki - kahwin dulu sblm PhD (hihii); bagi pompuan - just go ahead regardless of your marital status

Hehehe..just kidding. Itu cuma generalization semata2. I believe setiap orang ader keunikan masalah sendiri. I have learnt that - there is no an ideal marital status in doing PhD. Bukan status tu yang mempengaruhi, tapi your determination, your motivation and how strong you want to finish your PhD and also lots of other factors. Ramai jer yang single tapi tak habis sedangkan kalu diikutkan single lagi byk masa dan ruang utk menyudahkan kerja mereka kan? Logiknya gitulah, tapi tak semestinya. Mcm tu jugak, ramai anak dan komitmen tak semestinya tak boleh siap PhD sbb ramai jer kawan2 dah membuktikan mereka boleh. 

PhD is important but not everything..jangan pulak kita korbankan keluarga/kawan2 kerana terlalu mengejar PhD. Itupun tak boleh jugak. Ader dengar cerita benar beberapa orang yang bercerai berai gara2 PhD, yang sakit berpanjangan gara2 nak menyudahkan PhD. Kadang2 saya terfikir..is it really worth it? To lose your family/health just for the sake of PhD? So balance is a must. Tak guna dapat PhD but you lose everything, kejayaan manis utk dikongsi bersama, baru ada nikmat, bukannya sorang-sorang. 

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